Smoke and Ashes

Know your place, Auntie

This week, my 13 year old niece and 9 year old nephew are staying with DLS and I while they attend BC softball/baseball camp. Yesterday, I dropped Jack off to a sea of boys, ranging from 6-18. I figured I should stick around and wait for him to get settled, but as I approached the dugout, I got a look that very clearly said, "keep on walking lady."

Apparently, my window as the "cool auntie" has passed.

The thing that gives you the willies

I have a new friend with an irrational fear of eye lashes and eyebrows. She doesn't like to be touched by them, the concept of butterfly kisses make her just about want to throw up, and if she sees a stray eye lash, the only wish she has is that it will disappear asap.

When I heard about this, there was really only one response: I like you so much more right now.

A little (business) trip down memory lane

I had a quick work trip out to SF, and the nostalgia this visit hit me hard. The perfect weather (cool, but sunny), the beautiful views, my favorite lunch spots and wine bars, the always-above-average sushi, the overflowing availability of reasonably priced avacado, the faint (and sometimes not-so-faint) aroma of urine everywhere... what's not to set a girl swirling through memories of bygone days?

I tried to steal him, but apparently they come with baby Lojack

 

For what it's worth, it's really fun to show up in Yankee territory to welcome the newest member of the Evil Empire wearing a Red Sox sweatshirt after a 3 game sweep (or really, an 8-0 sweep). Good thing mom was still a little out of it; otherwise, she probably wouldn't have let me hold him at all.

Are you having a bad day?

Well suck it up, because my friend has been in labor for 20 hours and still no baby.

Note to self

After a 40 minute bike ride into work, do not go into a bathroom stall to change and let out a deep relief-filled sigh, an "oh god", and a stretching noise, which sounds remarkably similar to a grunt (because, yes, I make stretching noises) without at least checking that nobody is in the stall next to you.

One step closer to my Golden Globe Ticket

One of the people mentioned in this article is my former college roommate - not to mention bridesmaid in my upcoming nuptials (She'd probably be embarrassed if I mentioned her specifically by name, especially if I make some crack about how she's now working with Brandon Walsh).

I'm not sure what the future of this show will hold, but in general, I'm thinking I'm one step closer to attending a major Hollywood shindig. We have a deal: I'm 4th in line for tickets to the Golden Globes and/or Oscars, behind her husband, mom, and our other roommate.

The article from Variety, has the details...

Jordan Levin sells ' Lake' to TheWB.com

Jason Priestley will direct new web drama series

By MICHAEL SCHNEIDER

Jordan Levin has reunited with the WB.

The one-time weblet CEO has sold the new web series "The Lake" to TheWB.com.

Jason Priestley directs the drama, which premieres on Aug. 10. TheWB.com is set to run 12 episodes, each of which will be between seven and 10 minutes in length.

Drama revolves around four families that spend the summer together at fictional Lake Eleanor. Meredith Lavender and Marcie Ulin ("Defying Gravity") created and wrote the project, which comes from Levin's Generate shingle.

Levin and fellow Generate partners Pete Aronson and Michael Petok will exec produce. Generate and Warner Bros. TV Group's Studio 2.0 are behind the show.

"'The Lake' is in the tradition of the greatest shows from the WB network, coming of age stories told with an authentic voice," said Warner Horizon TV exec VP Craig Erwich, who oversees programming for TheWB.com.

Stars include Heather Ann Davis, Elisa Donovan, Amy Stewart, Drew Van Acker, Mim Drew, Mark Totty, Samantha Cope, Devin Crittenden, Erica Dasher, Robb Derringer, Nick Thursto and Meredith Dilg.

Priestley's credits as a director include both the original and new versions of "90210," as well as "The Secret Life of the American Teenager."

Today's Small Victories

I rode my bike from Jamaica Plain into my office without:

a) killing myself
b) knocking my teeth out
c) getting inimate with the asphalt and getting a serious case of road rash.

All three of the above mentioned possibilities weighed heavily on my mind before I took my inaugural bike ride to my office this morning.

I am the world's last barman poet

I like sports, and I love the Red Sox. I love them so much that I participate in a little mailing list full of a bunch of fairly well-known executives and journalists - I won't say who, but if you get mentioned by name in a Mac commercial, I'd say you're big time.  A few year's ago, when I was invited to join this little group, I read every article and commentary religiously, but stayed silent for weeks. There aren't too many women on the list, and when I was finally ready to contribute something I deemed value add to the group, I wanted to make sure it was smart and insightful. Since then, I've contributed some things here and there, but remained mostly a consumer of all-things-Red-Sox.

Today, though, I may have seriously jeoparidized my position as a respected member of the group. Someone forwarded Bill Simmons' recent article on Big Papi's total suckage. It starts with this:

In the academy award-winning classic Cocktail, Coughlin tells young Flanagan, "Everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn't end." It's the single greatest yearbook quote ever. Hell, it may be the greatest movie quote ever. Either Coughlin was the Thoreau of bartending, or Thoreau the Coughlin of writing. One or the other.

My response to the group:

Not to be a total chick, but Coughlin doesn't say that quote -- Tom Cruise (Flannagan) says it to his cougar girlfriend. I'm embarrassed for myself that I couldn't possibly let that slide without commenting.

[Insert some witty, insightful baseball commentary here so that I'm not totally shunned by the rest of the group]

- Sarah

I'm a disgrace, but c'mon Bill - get it right!

IT Question

Is my computer supposed to make a noise that resembles a vacuum cleaner?

Off to backup everything to my external hard drive...

Proud or embarrassed?

a) I broke 13,000 on blackberry's brickbreaker and b) I not only called that Kris Allen would win American Idol when there were still five people left in the competition, I also predicted the order they would be knocked off.

In other updates, I'm a loser.

call me ross

I sent a text alerting the family that I'll be sitting in the 8th row and look for me on tv, and got this response from my sister, which made me laugh out loud, in a bar, where I happen to be sitting by myself: "of course you will be! Why wouldn't you be Ross!!!" This is only funny if you're an avid Friends devotee.

As seen on tv

Ill be sitting behind home plate, 8th row. Whoop.

Blog vomit: May's Edition - Plants, victory, projects, and softball

Random blog vomit updates:

• I've become quite the horticulturist. DLS and I recently planted a vegetable garden, an herb garden, two climbing hydrangeas, and a rose bush. This was on the heels of a weekend planting ivy, morning glories, and black-eyed susans. Much of our efforts are focused at disguising the hideous chain link fence that separates us from our WT neighbors who think that a backyard is a suitable alternative for a landfill. We can't tear down the fence and replace it with something not-see-through because technically it's on their property.
  
• I had a total moment of glory last night that won't possibly translate over the blog, but I'll give it a whirl: last night, Lucy was sitting on the little couch, and DLS called her over. Now, typically DLS is the dog whisperer and animals do whatever she says, but after repeated commands, Lucy just cocked her head and stared at her. DLS commented, "geesh, she's being stubborn..." so I gave it a whirl and said, "Lucy, come here" and she *leaped* (I mean, Carl Lewis-like) off the couch and over to my side. I was overjoyed, I gushed "that's my good doggy", while DLS just scowled at me.
  
• The fabulous JP has an interesting new project underway that I'll be helping out with in my copious spare time.
  
• Our softball team won both games of a double header, though the second game was a nail biter. I hit in the winning run in the bottom of the last inning. I also made a Mike-Lowell-like play at third base, directly after I made a little-league-like error, so all in all, it was a good outing.  
  
  After the game, the following conversation ensued:
  
  Team rep for random team we played last year: Hey, good game. You guys must like the fact that you're getting some competition this year.
  
  Me: No, I like to win every game by the mercy rule like we did last year.
  
  Rep: (in a tone wrapped in disbelief) Really?
  
  Me: (in a light but sincere tone) haha, no, I'm just kidding.
  
  [Me and DLS get in the car]
  
  Me to DLS: For the record, I was *so not* kidding.

I feel Dooce's pain

Now that I work all the time while at work (annoying, I know), I have less time to catch up on my blog reading (and writing for that matter). But, today I had a little coffee break and was catching up on the ever-hilarious Dooce. I was reading about her two-week old broken toe, and started suffering flash backs from that time I fell down a flight stairs and smashed my toe so badly that when the doctor looked at the x-ray, he exclaimed "oh my god, what did you DO?" implying I had dropped a 2 ton cinder block on it or something. It was really the pinnacle of bedside manner.

Like Dooce, I ended up in the boot. I was also a waitress at that point in my life, and ended up losing out on several weeks' tips because I couldn't wear a shoe, much less carry large trays of food to Nantucket tourists. To this day, my big toe points a few degrees in the wrong direction.

So, Dooce, you have my sympathy.

I've realized my calling

Friend: X and I were remarking about your matchmaking skills.

Me: I did not do any matchmaking. I simply commented that X was cute and fun, and if you were so inclined, you should go for it.

Friend: You were apparently singing my praises as well.

Me: Well, that's not really matchmaking, per se. I was merely giving a newcomer to the group background information on someone that has been around a lot more lately.

Friend: You just went from matchmaker to spin doctor.

Me: Well, I do manage my company's PR team.

Friend: Uh huh, and apparently you do our group's PR too.

Not so fun

When ex-high school/college athletes get together to form a recreational softball team and lose for the first time, things get real ugly. Real. Ugly.

She's just like a bowl in a china shop

DLS has a little problem with cliches. She's been known to say things like "the straw that broke the camel's bucket" or comment about how pleased she was that a certain person is becoming more social and really  "coming out of her box". Our core group of friends takes great delight in ridiculing her mercilessly about these slips of the tongue. So with that preface...

The scene: Just before bed. Keela, our 6 year old lab, on her bed making a horrific slobbery noise.

Me: What the hell is Keela doing?
DLS: She's licking her wound. Oh wait, is it "licking her wound" or "licking her womb"
Me: Oh my god, where's my phone??

Naturally I emailed all of our friends, but I figured I needed to take the humiliation up a level and post it here too.

Random thought of the day

In my office building, we have little tv's in the elevator that show news snippets. There was one picture about a crash at a NASCAR race that looks vaguely like this:

 

Anyway - it got me thinking. Being a NASCAR photographer has to be the most boring job on the planet. The cars go round and round and round for hours, and you have to keep your camera trained on them at all times, because if you missed that kind of shot, your boss would undertandably be pissed.

Aging, but still fiesty

Last year, some friends and I assembled a softball team. As the new team to the league, we were by default placed in the lowest division. We then went on to kill almost every team we played by the mercy rule, and took about the division championship after an undefeated season. It was fun, but there's only so much glory in beating teams that you're obviously mismatched against.

This year, they bumped us up to the middle division and the regular season starts on Sunday. Yesterday, however, they had a league-wide one-pitch tournament (you get one pitch -- if it's a ball you walk, if it's a strike or a foul, you're out...) and not only did we pick up where we left off, but we won the whole thing, including upsetting three teams from the top division in the league.

It was a long day - our first game was at 11 am, and we played the championship game around 7. Today, we're all in rough shape. I'm the first to admit that softball doesn't really count as exercise (if you've ever seen me run the base paths, you'd agree), but 8 hours of any activity takes it's toll. We're a bunch of old ladies now.

Disaster Narrowly Averted

My friend has a rule -- never leave the house with the dryer running. I always thought that was just her being paranoid, and have frequently done exactly that.
 
But then...
 
The other day, I heard something weird in the room where we keep the dog food bins (which incidentally is also the laundry room). I thought our little rodent friends might have returned, but I hadn't seen any "evidence" (ie little mice poops). I chalked it up to me hearing things.
 
Then I *definitely* heard something, only this time, I tracked it to the dryer tube that connects to the outdoor vent. I naturally freaked, shook the tube a little bit, but didn't really do anything else.
 
This morning, I really, really heard something, as did Lucy who spent all morning barking her head off (and naturally, she didn't like it that we tried to make her sleep in the laundry room last night - which lasted all of about an hour before we caved and brought her back in the bedroom). This time DLS and I discussed the situation and said we'd clean it out this weekend while we're doing the rest of our manual labor projects.
 
I thought I could live with that plan, but I got home tonight and the noise was so loud it actually sounded like wings flapping. So I decided to take matters into my own hands. I mustered all my courage and unscrewed the tube from the wall, ready to investigate to make sure whatever was in there wasn't trapped. Mind you, there was a chance that this thing had been trapped in there for awhile and I was about to unleash a half dead bird carcass. Naturally, I was sweating bullets. I had two fears, actually: that the bird would fly out Hitchcock-style and poke my eyes out, or that I'd discover it wasn't a bird and it was a giant rat (I had eliminated the mouse possibility because no mouse can make that much noise).
 
Thankfully, no bird carcass... but I what I did find can be seen in the picture attached. No wonder it takes us two hours to dry a load of laundry and thank god we didn't burn the house down (and that I finally got home owners insurance).

Not so small world

My potential "small world in the blogosphere" story turned out to not be a weird coincidence after all. I posted a few Red Sox tickets on Craigslist, and one of the first people to reply to the ad was Jen Garrett. I naturally responded, "The Jen Garrett, as in 'Being Jen Garrett'? Because that would be a strange coincidence (but if this isn't you, then please disregard)".

Well it turns out it a) it wasn't the Jen Garrett, and that Jen wasn't back in JP re-connecting with her Boston roots and searching out Red Sox tickets. Though if you read her blog, you know it wasn't that much of a stretch for me to think so. 2) There's another Jen Garrett out there who thinks I'm a very odd duck.

Banished

We've decided we just can't take it anymore... so we've moved Lucy's crate into the laundry room, separated not only by the laundry room door, but also the kitchen french doors and our bedroom door to sheild us from the incessant whining at various dark hours. Considering she's been sleeping in the bed for the past few months, this is a big change. Quite honestly, I think I'm more upset about it than she will be.

blog vomit...

This, I think, is by far the longest blogging-free stint I've gone on. I have no excuse, other than to say life has been really busy and none of it has lent itself to mass consumption. Actually, that is only partially true. There have been several instances where people have said "you better not blog this" to which I immediately think "damn, I need to remember to blog this", but by the time I get to a computer with more than 5 minutes my mind is completely blank.

So, in random order of life events/updates:

• Spent the last two days at the wake/funeral of DLS's uncle. It's weird - I didn't cry at my grandfather's funeral, but I sobbed like a baby through the whole affair the last two days, especially when DLS's cousins stood up to talk about their dad, who wasn't nearly old enough (mid-50s) to pass away.
• Wedding planning is going well. DLS tried on a dress and our best friend went to tell her if it looked good, but sadly, she had it on sideways. Not backwards... sideways. She's very special.
• Lucy continues to not sleep through the night on most occasions. Perhaps that's why I'm so tired and never make time for blogging.
• My company is looking for a new VP of marketing, which means sooner rather than later, I'm going to have a new boss.
• I'm asking for more book recommendations. Last time, blog readers came through big with awesome recommendations (Emergency Sex and Other Desperate Measures -- which isn't about what you think, but rather about UN Peace Keepers, was my favorite. Thanks to Funchilde for the recommendation).
• Three of my friends - all highly educated, highly talented individuals have been laid off. They're also independently wealthy, so they pretty much just golf all day. I'm very bitter.
• I recently joined Twitter, mostly so that I could follow a few specific people that I wanted to know more about professionally. I sent out two tweets related to red sox tickets I have for sale and don't really plan to send things out regularly, because I have no time as it is.
• I have a potential story about a small world from the blogosphere, but I'm awaiting confirmation.
• My friends are all having babies/have had babies recently, and I'm terribly jealous.  One step at a time though.
• I did manual labor all weekend. That's not really funny unless you know me personally. We built a deck, planted ivy, and painted a wall. I'm very proud of myself. I also rebuilt a stone retaining wall, smashed my pinky, and will likely lose my finger nail.

So, that's the brain dump. I promise to try to write more regularly. I miss it.

My Moronic Move of the Day

This morning, I packed lunch. My friend brought over this giant tub of bean salad for a cookout on Sunday night, so I grabbed a little thing of tupperware and scooped a lunch-size portion in. Come noonish, I very excitedly opened it and started inhaling. Almost immediately, I realized something was a little... off. I kept eating. I figured, leftovers always taste a little bit different than when something is fresh.

As I'm nearing the bottom, I snap the cover of the tupperware shut and realize, this isn't tupperware at all.

DLS and I use Oil of Olay daily cleansing cloths and last night, when DLS went to grab one, she noticed a soapy mess in the bottom of the box. She apparently left it out on the kitchen counter as a reminder to clean/dry it before restocking it. I told her what I did and she apologized profusely for leaving it out on the counter, but lets face it people, the blame lies totally with me. I mean, if nothing else, the picture of the Mary-like figure lightly embossed in the top of the box should have tipped me off.

Name confusion

Even though it's been more than 2 years already, I never really did adjust to the switch from working from home every day to working in an office. As such, I try to work from home at least one day a week (which incidentally, also saves me the day's dogwalking fee, so it's good for my sanity as well as my wallet).  Several of my colleagues feel the same way, and yesterday we were discussing the merits of working from home, like the ability to take a 20 minute mental break and then come back and be really productive and focused in a way that just isn't possible in the chaos of the office. 

I feel the same way, and one thing I love about working from home is that my dogs can sense when I'm frustrated or stressed out, and that's when they turn up the cute and adorable factor. The downside of it: Lucy thinks her full name is "Are you f-ing kidding me?"

Dr. Young and Exciting Laura

One of our very good friends is an ER doc in Boston. When we first met her, we called her Dr. Laura, which she found very annoying, so we said fine, from now on, you're "Plain Old Laura" - a nickname which eventually got shortened to POL and has completely stuck. Stuck so much that we couldn't help but address her Save the Date to "Dr. Plain Old Laura". She thought it was hilarious, but apparently her mailman disagreed:

 

DLS and I are already contemplating how we are going to address her invitation. 

Happiest Day of the Year

I seriously think I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, so I've decided to make spring daylight savings a personal holiday. Yesterday we threw a BBQ to celebrate, and even though we lost an hour of sleep, I got into work a full hour before my usual start time today.

Happy belated Daylight Savings Day everyone. I wonder if they make a hoops and yo-yo card for that?

Apparently I'm Obese

My gym had a "get your BMI" station set up last night, and apparently I'm obese. Ok, not obese but borderline between "fair" and "poor" when it comes to my body mass index. I know I'm not the fittest of souls, but really, "poor"? Way to make me feel good about myself 7 months before my wedding. Geesh, thanks a lot Boston Sports Club.

Mind Meld

Anyone play the game 25 Words or Less? The goal is to get your partner to say the 5 words on the card in under a minute using less than X number of words (you bid against the opposing team - ie "I can do it in 18 words"... "I can do it in 15" ... until someone says "take it"). 

Playing with KC is like playing with myself, we're that in sync. Who else, upon hearing "arbor dwelling", would guess "tree house" right off the bat?